[ Cloud's breath clips when she suddenly turns around to face him. He doesn't even have any time to say anything or begin attempting to before her arms are thrown around his neck. If he were any less sturdy, he would have fallen backwards from how quickly she traps him in this embrace. Whereas Marie pours her heart into the hug, tears flowing and her body on the brink of shaking, Cloud can't breath.
Eyes wide as saucers and body rendered frozen and stiff, all he can do is listen as she swallows a sob and clutches him tight. The only semblance of sound that comes out of her Master is a squeak of air when she reveals she'd looked into that dream. That she practically had the same dream. So she saw everything. The gunfire, the smell of iron as blood stained the cliffside, washed away by the rain. The passing of the proverbial torch. His honor. His dreams. The very moment Cloud's mind shattered into several pieces all over again, and the scream that signaled the start of another man's journey. ]
... ....
[ This should feel perverse. Like his deepest, darkest memories were involuntarily wrenched from his mind and broadcast for all to see. It's just like the time he and Weiss shared memories together when testing the GIGA. He'd seen her supposed death. She'd seen the loss of Aerith. Why was everyone's lives steeped in loss? Why did that have to be the foundation they built their betterment from?
Cloud had every right to feel uncomfortable knowing that this contract meant nothing was sacred. ]
I...
[ Why then...? ]
[ Why did he care more about the fact the woman holding him was crying? And that he was just sitting there petrified? His body finally moves. It trembles. His fingers twitch. He drank with Panty when Zack first disappeared and found fleeting yet important comfort there. But this was different. Something far more raw. He doesn't reprimand her. He doesn't blame her. He doesn't lament their contract, what they've seen or shared with one another. ]
...
[ Instead, Cloud's arms wrap around her body tight. And he finally breathes. All of the tension in him leaves. The smell of her hair, subtle yet soothing, fills his senses with one hand pressed against her back and the other around her waist. All he wants to do is comfort her now. It took him some time. And he might have always been willing to help her regardless of how their contract came to be. But for the first time, the palpable emotion that fills the room as he listens to her sob reaches a fever pitch.
He opened his heart. The door was open for her to come inside. ]
Don't cry.
[ Ha. Hypocrite... Then why are your eyes burning, Cloud? ]
[ Oh, Cloud. He truly isn't that different from her, huh? Selfless, focusing on the pain of his partner instead of his own. Marie knows she shouldn't have reacted like this, because he would see that as what isn't actually true: that she needs his comfort more than he does hers. It's just wrong. Nothing about that makes sense. If anything... it makes her feel worse.
His broad arms wrapped all around her smaller figure are so comforting, though. Much to her shame and regret, she's weak to her waist being grabbed like this. He's gentle, despite her reveal probably crashing through him like a boulder into a wall. Even when he's in distress, he still is considerate enough not to show the sadder side of him. Marie wouldn't mind seeing the ugly side of him, too. Humans have emotions they can't control sometimes. When they made love for the first time on his birthday, Cloud bared his aggressive heart to her, and she loved it.
It would make her even more relieved to see him cry right now.
With that resolution, she stifles a sob, gulps a lump down her throat, sighs, and pulls away.
Their eyes meet, and although Marie's is close to being tearful, eyes glistening, she's also determined. Cloud needs an outlet, and it won't work if he forces himself not to cry and let all his sadness out. He won't be able to move on from his loss if he bottles everything up. Being a hero and holding onto a legacy is pointless if he destroys himself from the inside in the process.
She'll make him understand. ]
Cloud... [ Marie gently cups his cheek. ] It is perfectly okay to cry. Neither of us have to hold back, but this is not about me. Whatever I feel right now does not hold up to how much suffering you had to go through in that dream, especially as you re-lived it.
Let your emotions out. Everything that comes to your mind. I will listen. I am here for you.
[ Cloud blinks, wide-eyed and almost defensively innocent when she gently cups his cheek. He looks bewildered, as if she just said the craziest thing. Let his emotions out? Over what? She's the one who was crying, pained by the suffering she watched... He was over it. He'd moved on...! ]
I'm okay. It happened a long time ago. I'm good, I...
[ He breathes again. Then sucks in a sharp breath on impulse. And for that crucial yet fleeting instant, he stares at her without saying another word. He looks into her beautiful blue eyes, rich as the sky. ...the same sky that Zack loved so much. Why was his vision blurry? He couldn't see her face. All he can do is gently lean into the hand cupping his cheek as the tears rolled down his face. ]
I...
[ Cloud wasn't lying. It happened a long time ago. He'd moved on. He stopped beating himself up over the deaths of Zack and Aerith. For his weakness in being incapable of stopping Sephiroth from reducing Nibelheim to ashes. Some scars never healed, and it was okay if they didn't. This pain...it's new. It's frustrating. And more potently...
It's torture. Cloud's lips form a tight line... And there it is. ]
Why...?
[ Cloud bows his head, heaving a sigh as his shoulders start to shake. His eyes burn with tears as the foundation he'd built crumbles like waves crashing through sand. Even his voice cracks. ]
Why did they bring them here?
[ Why did the Prismals bring Zack and Aerith back if they were just going to take them away? ]
Marie doesn't have an answer for that. Nobody that has been plunged from their home worlds really holds an answer to something that probably no one knows except the Gods. Her lips remain sealed, pressed in a thin line to mirror Cloud, as she watches him crumble under her gentle hand.
They're not here to solve that mystery anytime soon. She's more concerned about offering her utmost emotional support, rather than talk about possibilities and what-ifs. Even if an answer will relieve him, the sadness will remain sitting at the core of his chest. Marie needs to address that first. ]
I know, Master. I know it was cruel of them to bring your friends here. But the memories you had shared together... they will never fade, even though you can't see them again. And they're too precious to be tainted with sorrow and regret.
[ It's different, knowing that someone who had long died back home was brought here and pretty much forced into a second life. When those whom they left behind will have to experience loss a second time because of Prismatica's whims... she can barely understand what Cloud's friends must have felt, knowing they could have disappeared once again.
Marie can understand, though, how torn he is about the whole ordeal.
She hugs him close once more, planting a kiss close to his ear. ]
I believe it is important to focus on what had been, instead of what you have lost...
[ Before he'd come so far as to forgive himself and finally move on, Marie's words might have rang hollow. In one ear, out the other. But this time, it's like they go in...and get blocked from the other side. He'd say he feels trapped by her words, but the more appropriate way of describing this feeling was that he was being forced to face himself. Face his pain. Face his frustrations instead of bottling them away and putting it behind the width of his sword. Cloud's been smiling so much more these days. Happier despite the ups and downs this world provides.
And in the coming months, that happiness would only continue to grow. But every single time... Every fucking time. Something reminds him of his past failings. Attempts to drag him down. All he can do is feel the bubbling urge to growl and tell those voices to shut up. It's over. The past is the past. ...one that continues to be drudged up so he can practice saying goodbye again. ]
I know... [ The second Marie hugs him close, the kiss leaves a tingling warmth of Chroma that attempts to quell his aching heart and mind. So warm. So beautiful. ] I know.....
[ But it doesn't make the tears stop. How long did this take? How long did he hold this in? He doesn't even know where to put his hands right now. All he can feel is his hands gently fisting pristine fabric against her back. Finding some sort of purchase. But it's like he forgot how to hold someone. ]
I'm tired, Marie. I don't know. I- [ Cloud gives up. His hands slip down to her waist, limp as he weakly holds onto her and allows her to embrace him in kind. ] Sorry.
[ Why? He's saying words randomly now. He's so confused. What made him crumble? How did Marie make it so easy? So easy to tremble as he allows himself to press closer to her. She's warmer. Any farther away and he'd be left in the cold, it feels like. ]
[ She closes her eyes, calmly shedding tears that she knows won't hold relevance against the suffering of a man who has lost as much as she did. The past, for her, was centuries ago - she had a lot of time, as a spirit, to work out her sorrows and find some bit of peace despite how violently and horribly she died, how lonely it had been.
But Cloud's pain is so recent, she can't expect him to recover from that quickly and efficiently. The best course right now is to sit here and cry it out and say all that he wants and needs to say. It's better than going out there and hurt himself in some way, out of anger and despair. He's a Sanguis, so that's already risky in itself.
Maybe it won't be a bad idea to keep him here for the time being, until he calms down... ]
It is tiring, having to face such turmoil. That is why I will not be leaving your side.
[ She embraces him tighter, strokes his hair, brings him against her chest. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Eyes wide as saucers and body rendered frozen and stiff, all he can do is listen as she swallows a sob and clutches him tight. The only semblance of sound that comes out of her Master is a squeak of air when she reveals she'd looked into that dream. That she practically had the same dream. So she saw everything. The gunfire, the smell of iron as blood stained the cliffside, washed away by the rain. The passing of the proverbial torch. His honor. His dreams. The very moment Cloud's mind shattered into several pieces all over again, and the scream that signaled the start of another man's journey. ]
... ....
[ This should feel perverse. Like his deepest, darkest memories were involuntarily wrenched from his mind and broadcast for all to see. It's just like the time he and Weiss shared memories together when testing the GIGA. He'd seen her supposed death. She'd seen the loss of Aerith. Why was everyone's lives steeped in loss? Why did that have to be the foundation they built their betterment from?
Cloud had every right to feel uncomfortable knowing that this contract meant nothing was sacred. ]
I...
[ Why then...? ]
[ Why did he care more about the fact the woman holding him was crying? And that he was just sitting there petrified? His body finally moves. It trembles. His fingers twitch. He drank with Panty when Zack first disappeared and found fleeting yet important comfort there. But this was different. Something far more raw. He doesn't reprimand her. He doesn't blame her. He doesn't lament their contract, what they've seen or shared with one another. ]
...
[ Instead, Cloud's arms wrap around her body tight. And he finally breathes. All of the tension in him leaves. The smell of her hair, subtle yet soothing, fills his senses with one hand pressed against her back and the other around her waist. All he wants to do is comfort her now. It took him some time. And he might have always been willing to help her regardless of how their contract came to be. But for the first time, the palpable emotion that fills the room as he listens to her sob reaches a fever pitch.
He opened his heart. The door was open for her to come inside. ]
Don't cry.
[ Ha. Hypocrite... Then why are your eyes burning, Cloud? ]
no subject
His broad arms wrapped all around her smaller figure are so comforting, though. Much to her shame and regret, she's weak to her waist being grabbed like this. He's gentle, despite her reveal probably crashing through him like a boulder into a wall. Even when he's in distress, he still is considerate enough not to show the sadder side of him. Marie wouldn't mind seeing the ugly side of him, too. Humans have emotions they can't control sometimes. When they made love for the first time on his birthday, Cloud bared his aggressive heart to her, and she loved it.
It would make her even more relieved to see him cry right now.
With that resolution, she stifles a sob, gulps a lump down her throat, sighs, and pulls away.
Their eyes meet, and although Marie's is close to being tearful, eyes glistening, she's also determined. Cloud needs an outlet, and it won't work if he forces himself not to cry and let all his sadness out. He won't be able to move on from his loss if he bottles everything up. Being a hero and holding onto a legacy is pointless if he destroys himself from the inside in the process.
She'll make him understand. ]
Cloud... [ Marie gently cups his cheek. ] It is perfectly okay to cry. Neither of us have to hold back, but this is not about me. Whatever I feel right now does not hold up to how much suffering you had to go through in that dream, especially as you re-lived it.
Let your emotions out. Everything that comes to your mind. I will listen. I am here for you.
no subject
[ Cloud blinks, wide-eyed and almost defensively innocent when she gently cups his cheek. He looks bewildered, as if she just said the craziest thing. Let his emotions out? Over what? She's the one who was crying, pained by the suffering she watched... He was over it. He'd moved on...! ]
I'm okay. It happened a long time ago. I'm good, I...
[ He breathes again. Then sucks in a sharp breath on impulse. And for that crucial yet fleeting instant, he stares at her without saying another word. He looks into her beautiful blue eyes, rich as the sky. ...the same sky that Zack loved so much. Why was his vision blurry? He couldn't see her face. All he can do is gently lean into the hand cupping his cheek as the tears rolled down his face. ]
I...
[ Cloud wasn't lying. It happened a long time ago. He'd moved on. He stopped beating himself up over the deaths of Zack and Aerith. For his weakness in being incapable of stopping Sephiroth from reducing Nibelheim to ashes. Some scars never healed, and it was okay if they didn't. This pain...it's new. It's frustrating. And more potently...
It's torture. Cloud's lips form a tight line... And there it is. ]
Why...?
[ Cloud bows his head, heaving a sigh as his shoulders start to shake. His eyes burn with tears as the foundation he'd built crumbles like waves crashing through sand. Even his voice cracks. ]
Why did they bring them here?
[ Why did the Prismals bring Zack and Aerith back if they were just going to take them away? ]
no subject
Marie doesn't have an answer for that. Nobody that has been plunged from their home worlds really holds an answer to something that probably no one knows except the Gods. Her lips remain sealed, pressed in a thin line to mirror Cloud, as she watches him crumble under her gentle hand.
They're not here to solve that mystery anytime soon. She's more concerned about offering her utmost emotional support, rather than talk about possibilities and what-ifs. Even if an answer will relieve him, the sadness will remain sitting at the core of his chest. Marie needs to address that first. ]
I know, Master. I know it was cruel of them to bring your friends here. But the memories you had shared together... they will never fade, even though you can't see them again. And they're too precious to be tainted with sorrow and regret.
[ It's different, knowing that someone who had long died back home was brought here and pretty much forced into a second life. When those whom they left behind will have to experience loss a second time because of Prismatica's whims... she can barely understand what Cloud's friends must have felt, knowing they could have disappeared once again.
Marie can understand, though, how torn he is about the whole ordeal.
She hugs him close once more, planting a kiss close to his ear. ]
I believe it is important to focus on what had been, instead of what you have lost...
no subject
And in the coming months, that happiness would only continue to grow. But every single time... Every fucking time. Something reminds him of his past failings. Attempts to drag him down. All he can do is feel the bubbling urge to growl and tell those voices to shut up. It's over. The past is the past. ...one that continues to be drudged up so he can practice saying goodbye again. ]
I know... [ The second Marie hugs him close, the kiss leaves a tingling warmth of Chroma that attempts to quell his aching heart and mind. So warm. So beautiful. ] I know.....
[ But it doesn't make the tears stop. How long did this take? How long did he hold this in? He doesn't even know where to put his hands right now. All he can feel is his hands gently fisting pristine fabric against her back. Finding some sort of purchase. But it's like he forgot how to hold someone. ]
I'm tired, Marie. I don't know. I- [ Cloud gives up. His hands slip down to her waist, limp as he weakly holds onto her and allows her to embrace him in kind. ] Sorry.
[ Why? He's saying words randomly now. He's so confused. What made him crumble? How did Marie make it so easy? So easy to tremble as he allows himself to press closer to her. She's warmer. Any farther away and he'd be left in the cold, it feels like. ]
no subject
But Cloud's pain is so recent, she can't expect him to recover from that quickly and efficiently. The best course right now is to sit here and cry it out and say all that he wants and needs to say. It's better than going out there and hurt himself in some way, out of anger and despair. He's a Sanguis, so that's already risky in itself.
Maybe it won't be a bad idea to keep him here for the time being, until he calms down... ]
It is tiring, having to face such turmoil. That is why I will not be leaving your side.
[ She embraces him tighter, strokes his hair, brings him against her chest. ]
You are going to be alright. Stay with me, Cloud.